Local yokel

The man volunteering in the charity shop in Bovey Tracey was in his late sixties, overweight, and had both big toes bandaged. "I was dancing with Ann Widdecombe, she lives round 'ere don'tchyou know? Anyways I was dancing with 'er I was, an' look what 'appened! She ony went an' broke both I's toes! I's didn't know what's was going on did I's!" He had the easy rolling laugh and rounded accent of a true local old boy, and a chink of mischief glinted in his eyes.